Importance of Being Empathetic

Empathy is the ability to identify or understand what someone else is enduring. I think hard life stuff makes one more empathetic. It stands to reason that if you've had your heart ripped out and stomped on a few times in life, you remember what that feels like and when it happens to someone you know, you feel it - like a phantom limb.
In my Bible study we've been studying ways to pray - two examples of which are Moses and Abraham. It struck me that the prayers these men prayed on behalf of Israel and Sodom, respectively, were empathetic. They prayed for these groups with earnest desire for their well-being; as well as if they were praying for their own preservation. I wondered if I pray for others with conviction and hope to equal my prayers for me and my little family. I think not, and I think it is time.

Shape of the World

Nathan read a blurb out of the NYTimes to me on Sunday which stated that terrorists are regrouping in Palestine and Afghanistan with plans to detonate a nuclear device in the U.S. This is more of a frightening aspect the more I think about it, as it is a cause championed by small terrorist "cells" all over the world. Thereby, the enemy is faceless, locationless, infinite. How do you effectively stop this enemy? How do you effectively find him?
Moreover, how do I prepare? How do I raise my children in this world? What do I teach them? How do I portray the facts without causing them to fear?
Nathan was quick to remind me that foremost, this world is not our home. It is true. And yet, I wonder what kind of life it is which labors under this as the answer to a permanent threat.

Mothering Delight

I received joy and encouragement recently when something finally connected in my brain and I realized that by being their mother, I am helping my children to know who they are in Jesus. By how I love them, delight in them, and train them to be excellent young women I am helping to reveal that unique person that God has made in His image! What a wonderful calling. It is with particular sadness, then, that I reflect on the the sundry examples of bad parenting I see. I see moms who are frazzled, fed up with their toddlers (though they are reaping what they sow by not giving their children consistency in training, or consequences (with love) for disobedience), talking to them in tones that demonstrate exasperation and dislike, and dealing with them with immaturity and annoyance. What I am not proclaiming is my own propensity for great parenting. No - I have meltdowns from time to time, I am tired frequently and unable to spread grace liberally on those around me. But here's the difference: I am shooting for something outside myself- my goal is godliness from myself and my children. And the hope that sustains me in this is Jesus himself, so I need not fear laboring in vain or failing in my own efforts. I am not alone; when my cup is empty is precisely when Jesus can do his astonishing work.

Final thought: when I think of my task in parenting not on a day to day level (which can feel sometimes like I'm just schlepping along) but on a scale of my and my children's whole life, I benefit from both the relief that the mess that I make of it sometimes is not the whole story AND the admonishment that who they will be in 10, 20 years depends in some way on what I am pouring into them right now - and if what I'm pouring into them is Jesus and his love, that gives them what they need to grow into people of faith and love, peace, hope, and joy.

A Controversial Word on Sex

Since Lilly was born, Nathan and I have been practicing Natural Family Planning. Well, ok, we were technically practicing it when we got pregnant with Ella, and with Lilly. But the former was a case of "fudging" on the rules a bit. The latter was throwing caution to the wind in a moment of passion - knowing that I was fertile and the very real possibility was there. Plus, I was open to the possibility of a new baby because I was ready to be pregnant again by the time Ella was three months old.
All of that, and I was reading a terribly written book on the subject and I found it all very hard and complicated. It's not hard or complicated. Natural Family Planning is about charting - charting waking temperature (basal body temp) and ovulation signs. I am reading another book, called Taking Charge of your Fertility, and it is written very well. We enjoy this method of birth control - it is natural, safe, and totally reliable if all of the rules are followed.
It relies on us abstaining for about 7-10 days, during my fertile period (*note: women are only actually fertile for 24 hours when the egg is released; if it is not fertilized within those 24 hours it dies. Sperm on the other hand can live up to five days; hence, if intercourse occurs a few days before the egg is released, it is possible to conceive since the sperm can survive).
It's kind of neat because it makes me learn about my body, and it's amazing to watch what the female body does every month to prepare for conception. This method asks me to work with my fertility, and to acknowledge it. In other words, God made the woman's body to do this every month, so I respond to the fertile time by avoiding intercourse - I am interacting with the very tools that God has given in order to pursue or avoid pregnancy. I like it too because it puts me in a position to trust, because I'm putting "myself" out there, with out any other aids to prevent conception.