Bed-Time Blessings

Ella is doing this new thing that is wonderful. After we read books together (mom & girls or dad & girls) at night and pray, she says, "let me bless." And she hugs and kisses Lilly, and makes a three-part "T" on Lilly's forehead (while trying to keep Lilly from moving), and says, "Bless my Lilly - Son of God", then she turns to me and says "and bless my mama" and then she blesses herself, and Cold Paws her stuffed polar bear, and Dolly her Raggedy Ann. A lovely thing!

So What?

So I had this thought this morning while brushing my teeth. So what if I never do anything outside of being a home-maker? It's a pretty good way to spend my time, as far as that goes. It's enjoyable, it's not stressful, and I get to take care of a lot of little details that matter to the well-being of those who live with me.
I don't want to be beguiled into thinking that we have to have a second income at some point. When our children are grown, maybe I'll do something that makes extra income, and maybe I won't. Maybe we'll never retire - but let's be real here. 3/4 of the world's population will not retire or, for that matter, ever own a brand new pair of socks. Being born into poverty means you work every day of your life from the time you are a child, and your worst enemies are hunger and disease. I'm pretty glad I don't have to look down the barrel of that shotgun.
And then I had another thought - that years from now God willing we might look back and think we escaped by the skin of our teeth. If something were to happen to Nathan right now, the girls and I would have nothing - in every literal sense of that word materially speaking. I would have to figure out, suddenly, a career path, probably more school for me and child care for the girls - not to mention where we would get some money to pay rent and buy groceries. I felt, to be truthful, that I am risking the girls' lives - putting them in a position to have the rug pulled from under them.
But - this may sound crazy - I think I would like to live like this. I think there is something good for me in these means - and God knows it. If I had means that were abundant, I would use it foolishly, piddling it away on trifles (not the dessert) and not using it with wisdom and unselfishness in my heart.
If this is good for the mother and the mother is receiving instruction, it is good for the children too. If mother's thoughts and heart are with the Lord on all things, how much more is there the potential for life in the home, and the perception of the children that Mom and Dad rely on God for everything, and they praise Him for His faithfulness.

Language of Progress

I went to an Open House last week at a potential preschool for Ella. It is affiliated with a Presbyterian Church (and on the church premises). The director made a distinction at the beginning of her introduction, that the preschool was Christian insofar as they embrace all faiths. That, and they celebrate all holidays throughout the year instead of none, and since they share space with the Presbyterian Church there are bulletin boards in the classrooms with Bible verses on them, but that's for Sunday School. The church, she said, views the school as an Outreach Ministry to the community; that is, there is a need for the school in the community of Evanston and this school helps meet that need.
All of this was interesting to me - in a secular, postmodern sort of way. That is not, by the way, to say that it was NOT interesting, because I do find it compelling if simulataneously vexing.
The mom in front of me was rubbernecking during this introduction (not sure who she was looking for) and at the end when the question period was offered, she said, I see in your mission statement that you say you offer early childhood ed. in a Christian environment. Can you elaborate on that? And there was this exhale throughout, like everyone was relieved she'd pointed out the elephant in the room (Christ) and inquired as to its purpose.
The director reiterated: we are Christian in the sense that we respect all points of view. And there are Bible verses on bulletin boards because we share space with the church's Sunday school.
Oh ok, said the Mom, and everyone was happy enough with this answer, and as we were leaving I heard people talking about how they used to go to such and such church but because of this or that they just don't go anymore. And it seemed so feeble to me - this great delight in being Progressive - the cherished meaning of which is that no one single ideology is adopted. A relative of Nathan's once wrote that she hoped she'd never be completely sure of anything in regard to religion.
But here's the thing: I look around at the world so redolent with sorrow, grief, anger, bitterness, and tragedy and I know I cannot live without Jesus. There's too much to bear without Him. I look at the joy, beauty, and love and I can't be fully grateful for it without a Someone to be grateful to. But not just any Someone - one who took on my flesh to see what it was like to be me. One who offered his life in exchange for my ultimate safety, without knowing me. One who makes it possible for everyone to receive life abundantly.

Second Thoughts at 6 am

My mother-in-law gave us wonderful gifts for Christmas. Among them, a premiere set of flannel sheets I have never enjoyed the likes of. Think canvas for density and weight, but high thread count velvet for texture. Oh. In college my friend Alishia used to call her bed a seductress, because it beckoned wickedly to her when she was supposed to be doing homework. I used to laugh. No longer. Now, I have second thoughts about going running in the cold and dark when my alarm goes off at 6 am.

DMV Dud

On Fridays Ella and Lilly enjoy the company of their babysitter Nora for four hours while I scurry out and either take care of drudge errands or read a newspaper with abandon (the latter a veritable day spa for me). Today was the day: the dreaded DMV. I'd been wanting (too strong a word to be sure) to get it done for some months - the car registration and new driver's license.
I had a vague idea where I was going (I knew where the street was) and was on my way after dropping the girls off. I was hoping to stitch up the whole errand right quick, and then return in a tornado to my home to clean and who knows? to blog a bit. When all of a sudden while braking at a stop sign, a pedestrian steps into the road and waves me down. She was from an eastern country - I rolled my window down. She asked if I was going to the tech building - and could she ride with me? I said no, I'm not going to the tech building (presumably at Northwestern U.). She said, well, you're going straight aren't you? It's right down there (she gestures vaguely) Can I get in? Well, ok, I guess so, I said. I don't know where said tech building is; but as the road comes to a T in about three blocks, I figure it's right there at the last corner. I grudgingly pull all my junk out of the passenger seat as she climbs in. We ride in silence for a block. She says, you are a northwestern student? I said, no, no I'm not. Silence. We come to the "T". She points to the right and says, it's there. It's at that light. You are going this way aren't you? No, I wasn't, I say. But you can drop me? she says. I guess, I say.
Up ahead there are two lights. I assume it's at the first. But no, it's about five more blocks down, straight ahead. So I sort of pull over at the second light to let her out (all she'd have to do was cross the street) but she says, no it's over there. Sooo..... I turn left at the intersection and pull awkwardly into a busy driveway at NU so she can get out of my car. Thanks, she says and is on her way.
I couldn't shake the feeling that I'd just been ordered around, and had gone out of my way, and had used my rare personal time in doing this. I wasn't angry, just stunned and a little annoyed.

But then - the awful epiphany.

As a follower of Christ it is my privelege to serve all manner of people, neighbor or stranger, though serving them be thankless (!) that I may receive the blessing and opportunity of sharing with them the love Jesus has given to me. That love which is supposed to be welling up inside of me - from the abundance of his heart a man speaks. But I could not utter words of welcome and warm greeting to this woman. She was inside of my time, my space, and I owed her nothing. Except for this - Jesus laid down His LIFE for me - and I but a remote stranger to Him. Is there anything left I can hide behind? Today I understood that my Lord and His good pleasure must come before my to-do list.

Back in the Saddle

A new year: maybe it's not significant in the Great Scheme, but I for one enjoy an opportunity for a fresh start. Why not take opportunities for fresh starts throughout the year? Well, I'll tell you - I need a goal, a vision, a way to mark out part of the race. The beginning of a new year and the end of the "old" one work well in this sense.
I have a few hopes for 2007. I'd like to 1.) Give blood. It's useful to society. 2.) Take an intermediate Spanish class, and incorporate the language more into my daily verbalizations. It's a beautiful language; and why not speak two languages instead of one? 3.) Be a wise user of my money. I don't want more money, I just want to use it with some budgetary discipline. It's always the struggle, isn't it? To live within one's means.
So - welcome to the new year. Enjoy it for what it will be. When challenges come your way, may you accept them without trembling, and boldly offer your thanksgiving and requests to God.
And when reasons to celebrate come along, may you savor the joy! Peace, blessing, and cheers to a new year!